Interview One-Liners

April 20, 2008 in How to Get a Job
Tags: amusing, classroom, district, edublog, edublogosphere, education, fair, funny, interview, job fair, jokes, liners, one, spiel, stories, student, student teacher, teacher, white kids' unified

Over the course of the day, I developed endless spiel.

For example, on my teaching background:

That inner-city school where I’ve been student teaching isn’t nearly as bad as people make it out to be. I haven’t been stabbed once.

One-liners give me something to say while I’m answering the question. Given that their rehearsed cleverness and adroitness of delivery stands out, I’ve also found that it helps to unabashedly refer to my one-liners as “lines I’ve used around the job fair” right after I use them.

I had a few more standbys, and I thought you’d get a kick out of them.

Stating the obvious:

Kids are kids are kids. They’re the same everywhere.

Jabbing at a rival district:

The kids at White Kids’ Unified don’t have any better excuses. They have richer excuses.

When describing why I appreciated kids so much:

I used to think that my favorite age was the 4 and 5 year olds, but once I started student teaching I realized that high school seniors really aren’t all that different.

A bowl of sour-and-spicy meatball soup during lunchtime, bolstered by pure adrenaline, kept me on my feet, but by the end of a 7-hour day of interviews, my ever-abundant energy was fully sapped. It’s been a long time since I was so tired.

When outside interviews.

I wanna be sedated.

Guess which one quotes The Ramones. I dare you.

On an unrelated note, a Japanese girl is from Kansas.