In Angry Jesus’ Off-Center Gaze

October 26, 2008 in Personal Reflection
Tags: angry, center, eastern, gaze, icon, jesus, off-, orthodox

One religious icon displays itself prominently in my cozily-sized bedroom. I call it a lowercase him, and I introduce him to friends as Angry Jesus.

Strictly speaking, Angry Jesus isn’t angry. In fact, he’s probably about as far as angry as a lithograph print of an Eastern Orthodox portrait of the Sacred Heart can be. Yet “Angry Jesus” he’ll stay.

Framed within alternating deep hues of red and ochre, Angry Jesus the Icon shouldn’t, by all rights, seem so imposing on my mostly bare walls. He stands, shoulders square with the frame, holding a scroll in one hand, his other hand bent such that ring and pinky fingers touch his thumb.

The whole of the portrait — including his halo, his long, flowing brunette locks and the ever-requisite beard — seems browned and dull, as if viewed through layers of beeswax. In the middle, set off from his colored but drab robes, there’s a shape of a teardrop. In it, shining, polished and slightly curved steel appears to pierce his heart-shaped heart. The rest of the teardrop is filled by appropriately tricolor fire.

Angry Jesus never looks at the eye-level viewer, but instead slightly above and more slightly to the right. I don’t know why, and he offers no ready clues.

He doesn’t appear to smile, laugh, cry, blush, or retort sarcastically to the Pharisees — his mouth is a thin, inexpressive line. His face betrays neither pain nor contemplation.

It’s this face that earns Angry Jesus his epithet. He isn’t angry, by any stretch of either my imagination or what little theology I’ve absorbed, and I call him angry for my tacit fear of the alternative.

For what else explains his expressionless-ness, but sober judgment? What could I have done that has earned me his judgment? — and then a deluge of my deepest memories reminds me.

I don’t think I’ll change his name, anytime soon. Soberly Judgemental Jesus would be a whole lot harder to live with than a mere Angry Jesus.

Backdating Timestamps: So Awesome

August 23, 2008 in Week in Review
Tags: backdating, blog, entries, off-, reading, recent, timestamp, topic

Any reader who has ever needed to work as much overtime as possible should understand why my free time has been at a premium, and why my most recent entries haven’t been very punctual. If it weren’t a matter of pride and if I didn’t value the writing practice that keeping a blog provides, I’d forget about keeping up with my daily entries, just updating this thing whenever I felt compelled.

Alas for my Saturday mornings, but it is a matter of pride and I do value the practice.

In case you’ve missed out on any of the backdated entries and would like to catch up, feel free to use the calendar to preview the titles of the last month’s entries, or use the following list.

Anti-Papist Ironies — In this rare detour into personal religion, a response to anti-Catholic criticisms.
Working Guys and Dolls — Equal opportunity employment doesn’t mean equal retention and turnover.
Be Cool to the Camera Guy, Part Two — Unsatisfactorily answering the age-old question: Isn’t teaching the hardest job, ever?
Blame Expendable Women — Neo-conservative leaders aren’t sexist — they know women can defend themselves.
Be Cool to the Camera Guy, Part One — You accomplish nothing by being rude to the service industry’s peons.
Good Thing Copland’s Dead — If you’ve never heard the Lincoln Portrait, be glad.
Three-Drill Monte for Oil — Stephen Colbert lampoons both ridiculous sides of the energy debate.
Alma Mater of Siblings — Younger sister follows in steps of older brother, but it could just be a coincidence.
My Car’s Name is Helen — My very special relationship breaks down.

Will I be back on track next week, even though I’ll be working four days next week, the school photography season is only just picking up and I have two weekly band rehearsals I have to worry about? Signs point to yes.

See you all tomorrow.

Welcome Respite Over, and Welcome to The House

July 18, 2008 in The Way It Were
Tags: absolutely nothing, blog, early, feeblemindedness, gleaming, house, impromptu, mind, nothing, numbing, off-, onset, period, regroup, respide, sports, suvs, the house, utility, vehicles, week, welcome

I took an impromptu week off to collect my thoughts, as well as to regroup my enthusiasm for this blogging thing. I didn’t want to just go through the motions of pretending to have something to say when, in the past few weeks, I’ve been doing absolutely nothing.

For now, this nothing period is over. I’m back in the blogging game, and plan to have something to say every day. If nothing else, blog should help me keep my wits about me, and to stop my early onset feeblemindedness.

Another helpful exercise: I’ve moved to a new place. We call it The House.

Years ago, when I first entered college, The House was the place to be. Simply put: party central. Years, and pressure from the signatory renter, have since dulled its allure to the party-going crowd. If it weren’t for the few dirty living areas and a makeshift room created by drapes and a massive piece of particle board, you might not even guess that college kids live here. Until, of course, you look at the front lawn.

Every other house on our street has perfectly manicured, lushly green lawns. Ours has dirt, one big tree and a few sparse patches of crabgrass. Instead of kitchy lawn ornaments or colorfully seasonal banners from Longs Drugs to decorate our front yard, we have cigarette butts, one plastic camp chair and the remnants of fireworks from July 4, 2007. Instead of gleaming sports-utility vehicles and lovingly new minivans, we have four cars in varying degrees of crustyness: two in the driveway, one by the curb, one across the street.

Even on our street, lined on both sides with too many homes to count, it’d be pretty easily to pick out The House.