Disgusting Bachelor Pad Cuisine

July 5, 2008 in Darndest Things
Tags: bachelor, butter, cheese, cuisine, favorite, food, jam, macaroni, man, milk, pad, peanut, recipes, refried, sandwich, single, strawberry, tapatio, tortilla

Bachelor pad food comes in three overarching varieties. First, food inspired by the microwave:

Bean and Tapatio Burritos

1 can of generic-brand refried beans
3 flour tortillas
12 oz. Tapatio sauce

1. Empty Sunny Select refrieds into a cereal bowl.
2. Add Tapatio to taste.
3. Cover bowl with three tortillas for use as a splatter screen.
4. Cook in microwave on high for three minutes.
5. Fold beans and Tapatio sauce into tortillas.
Alternate instructions: Dig in, monster style.

Cost per meal: 60 cents.

Second, food inspired by nostalgia:

Peanut Butter and Jam Sandwiches

chunky peanut butter, as desired
strawberry jam, as desired
cheap loaves of wheat bread

1. Make a sandwich. You should be able to figure this one out.

Cost per meal: 25 cents.

Third, nostalgia food that serves more than one:

Macaroni and Cheese

milk, I think
ridiculous amounts of butter
box of macaroni and cheese

1. Boil water; scald yourself instead.
2. Put macaroni in boiling water.
3. Realize you don’t have a strainer.
4. Knock down neighborhood doors, asking for a strainer. Give up, as desired.
5. Make Peanut Butter and Jam Sandwiches.
Alternate instructions: Follow the instructions Kraft provided.

Cost per meal: 80 cents.

I’m also a huge fan of the 88-cent-pizzas from FoodMaxx, and I could eat pot pies until the cows come home.

Any other favorites out there that I missed?