OFF: Superman’s Super-Hair

Superman IV: The Quest for Peace very clearly establishes that even Superman’s hair is super-strong. In a moment of passion, I felt the need to comment on it.

Sure, the super-hair is super-strong, but there’s a serious question surrounding it: how do you get Superman’s hair? Kryptonite-alloy scissors? Do you have him wear a hairnet and wait for the hair to fall off? How does he comb his hair?

Perplexing. Any ideas? Has this been established elsewhere?

For those of you worried about me, there is precedent for this sort of discussion.


I’ve never seen such devilish puzzles; I’m not sure whether to be insulted or frustrated; “millennial teachers” haven’t a clue, or have they; and poverty and low test scores mix like water and water.


  1. Call me a geek, but I HAVE seen this addressed in the comics before. I remember seeing a picture of Superman shaving by using a mirror and his heat vision. He shoots the beams out of his eyes and uses the mirror to direct them towards his five o’clock shadow. I would assume he cuts his own hair the same way.
    Which would lead one to wonder why he doesn’t look like Flobie-Man.

  2. First, thanks for linking me — I really should update that post sooner or later.

    Second, the response is correct — there is a picture of Superman using a mirror and heat vision. Which makes sense, but also raises a few questions… does he need multiple mirrors for the back of his head? Did he always have perfect aim, or did his hair grow long the first several years?

    I’d love to see a follow-up on this topic.

  3. There are a number of possibilities.

    1. He just shaves it all off with his super-heatvision, and then wears a super-hairpiece. But wouldn’t heat vision melt the mirror?

    2. By sheer force of will, hair that exceeds four inches long simply falls out.

    3. Rather than shave, he becomes Chuck Norris. That explains why you’ve never seen them in the same place at the same time.

    Then again, that would mean that if Mike Huckabee doesn’t get the nomination, there’s going to be at least one very mad illegal alien. With superpowers.

  4. We found this while doing some “self-searching” for the Super-Hair.Net web site.

    We want to know the answer, too — so we can pass it on to some women who have “super styles” already!

  5. Right. Whatever you say.

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