Hyperbole is the Best Thing Ever

Sounds like something I want on a shirt. If only I looked good in pink.

In any case, it’s that time again. I’ll be hosting Day in a Sentence, a regular feature over at Kevin’s blog that alternates between the most general “Day in a Sentence” to cleverer themes like “Day in a Poem” and even “Day in a VoiceThread.”

Which brings us to our title. This week’s cleverish theme asks you to describe your week through exaggeration, and I believe it will add India’s share of spice to our recurring segment.

Consider this fairly mundane submission:

My hateful credential classes are a painful experience.

Add a little exaggeration, and it improves by at least a zillion percent:

My hateful credential classes could probably be made more painful, if only with the addition of literal rusty iron shackles, barbed-wire fences and unfed Rottweilers.

In addition, I challenge you to fashion your hyperbole without the following words or those similar to them:


Good luck. I suppose the thousand of you will need it.


  1. Muddy churning flood waters had risen to within millimeters of the Mt Everest –like silver slide at the children’s playground and my over-eager, unsuspecting daughter, her eyes wild and burning with feverish excitement, collided with the greenish brown froth at the very same instant that a school of rainbow trout arrived on the scene for recess.

  2. State testing leaves me drained like the desert during a draught. At times it seems like a most exquisite form of child torture and yet it also gives me time to dig out from the gargantuan pile of papers that threatened the very lives of my students as it towers and sways over us.

  3. We were there, sitting in the grandstand seats of Fenway Park (me, a Yankees fan, and everyone else in my family, a Red Sox fan) when the foul ball heading our way disintegrated into a fiery ball of flame, and I realized that we now breathe baseball until October.

  4. On the way to work, I was waylaid by a band of wild geese. They tore at my pant leg and made off with my bag, which included the report that was due today.

  5. I have dealt with complete insanity this week. One student had a complete meltdown during testing, needing serious psychological counseling. After agreeing to write a grant for $100K, the assistant superintendent shoots back that it will just cause more work if we get it, so forget about it. I only wish this was hyperbole.

  6. dkzody: Consider my eyes bugged out in shock and horror.

  7. sara p-c

    My school’s administrators are the type of incompetent fools who say that students should be able to get in *three* fights between March and June and still participate in the moving-up ceremony, and pick up and spin around the same students they told hours earlier to keep their hands to themselves, yet cruel enough to observe (for 40 minutes!) the teacher on my team with the bound-for-hell class who didn’t go for professional development training, while all the rest of our 6th classrooms had subs in them. (Again, sometimes truth is more entertainingly insane than hyperbole…)

  8. I spent the day in a 24 hour staff meeting which began with analyzing the disaggregated state assessment data for evidence of effective instruction and rigor and then concluded with some dental work including two fillings and a root canal; I’m almost finished with my reflection on the experience now…gotta go back to have the crown put back on now.

  9. This week all my classes had perfect attendance.
    No one skipped.

    This week all my students came to class on time.
    No one was late.

    This week all my students came to class prepared.
    No one forgot their pens, pencils or notebooks

    This week all my students came to class ready to learn.
    No one complained about being hungry, tired or hating school.

    This week all my students read and understood all the assignments I gave them.
    No one asked me what I wanted them to do.

    This week all my students handed their assignments in on early.
    No one asked for an extension.

    This week was perfect
    Just like all the other weeks this year.

  10. My mind a lantern waste, and myself a lonely journeying wanderer, I stumbled, mind-numb, upon this cybertournament. My only lance was the strong, stalwart shaft of hyperbole.

    I mounted my white charger(a sleek, throughbred apple mac) and aimed, I hoped, true. Not since Tennyson, or possibly TH White, has a wordsmith faced such peril in a strange land.

  1. 1 Day in a Hyperbole, over at Ben’s Place | Kevin's Meandering Mind

    […] mundane day (I know that isn’t true, but now I am working on reverse-hyperbole). See his blog for more […]

  2. 2 Unequivocally, the Best Week of Sentences Ever « On the Tenure Track

    […] taking a swig of it now and then. That said, each of you who participated in Wednesday’s Week in a Hyperbole brought me new horrors, surprises and unrivaled […]

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