Disgusting Bachelor Pad Cuisine
Bachelor pad food comes in three overarching varieties. First, food inspired by the microwave:
Bean and Tapatio Burritos
1 can of generic-brand refried beans
3 flour tortillas
12 oz. Tapatio sauce
1. Empty Sunny Select refrieds into a cereal bowl.
2. Add Tapatio to taste.
3. Cover bowl with three tortillas for use as a splatter screen.
4. Cook in microwave on high for three minutes.
5. Fold beans and Tapatio sauce into tortillas.
Alternate instructions: Dig in, monster style.
Cost per meal: 60 cents.
Second, food inspired by nostalgia:
Peanut Butter and Jam Sandwiches
chunky peanut butter, as desired
strawberry jam, as desired
cheap loaves of wheat bread
1. Make a sandwich. You should be able to figure this one out.
Cost per meal: 25 cents.
Third, nostalgia food that serves more than one:
Macaroni and Cheese
milk, I think
ridiculous amounts of butter
box of macaroni and cheese
1. Boil water; scald yourself instead.
2. Put macaroni in boiling water.
3. Realize you don’t have a strainer.
4. Knock down neighborhood doors, asking for a strainer. Give up, as desired.
5. Make Peanut Butter and Jam Sandwiches.
Alternate instructions: Follow the instructions Kraft provided.
Cost per meal: 80 cents.
I’m also a huge fan of the 88-cent-pizzas from FoodMaxx, and I could eat pot pies until the cows come home.
Any other favorites out there that I missed?