Downtown, No Finer Place for Sure

Our downtown is a mess to drive around in. Downtowns always are.

Do I have enough change for the parking meters conveniently near Parking Meter Patrol headquarters?

Will Wells Fargo care if I park in its parking lot, instead of the $5 public parking garage nearby?

Will another street I want to turn south turn out to be a one-way street heading north?

Can I find where I’m going?

Respectively: no; almost; yes; only if I have an hour to spare.

I wouldn’t care about those questions most days of my life. It would take a very good reason to make me wouldn’t set foot near our downtown district on a Friday morning. Unfortunately, I had one.

According to my employer, the local prison is the only place I could get my fingerprints done on Friday mornings, and the deadline to turn in our form to said employer was Friday at 10 a.m. We were told this on Thursday.

I won’t even try to give you the hyjink-by-hijink breakdown — I’m no Lovecraft — but suffice it to say that even on what felt like short notice, I made out to the county jail in the time allotted, and only my checking account took a hit.

I felt good. I had half an hour to spare, and only one errand left. Then I remembered that my errand was to get a replacement Social Security card.

This isn’t going to end well.


  1. Congratulations on the job! Did I miss the proclamations of joy? What are doing?

  2. dkzody

    Didn’t you have your fingerprints done for teaching? I remember going to the DMV to have mine done a century ago. Does the DMV even do that stuff anymore?

  3. Ms. Jae: Yearbook Photography, m’dear. It’s shaping up quite nicely, so far, though I’m still in training.

    Ms. Zody: Yep, but I was told that I needed to get printed again, that this company needs its own set. Our district told me the same thing when I joined the sub list.

    I don’t think the DMV does it, and even if they do, I doubt it’d be much more efficient than this place.

  4. dkzody

    It’s probably because none of these agencies can communicate with one another. Having my fingerprints done so long ago, I could certainly understand having to update them, but yours are so new one would think they would be available in some databank. We’re still not in the Jetson era, are we? No flying cars like they promised.




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